Manifesto & Magic Tricks (For the Ones Who Are Doing All the Work)

I have this feeling like maybe I’m the only one who’s ever done this. But I’m still sharing—just in case there’s someone else out there as intense as me.

Maybe you’re an eldest daughter (iykyk)…

Or you’ve always been the perfect student.

And now, despite being incredible at homework, you feel like you’re failing every single one of life’s tests.

And you have no idea what to do differently.

You do the rituals.

You journal.

You meditate.

You tap.

You sync with the Moon cycles.

You soften into surrender, let go of expectations, and keep expanding your toolkit.

Your self-worth was not built on fluff.

It was forged in tears, shadow work, late nights with your journal, and slowly—so slowly—falling in love with who you really are.

It’s sturdy now. Maybe even too sturdy.

Because suddenly, no one is meeting you there. Everyone gives you the ick. And it’s starting to worry you.

You scroll social media, trying to find your magic trick.

You take in all the advice, hoping that this time, this hack will finally work.

That you’ll be the one to go from single to engaged in five months.

That your dream job will just… land.

That something will finally move.

But nothing seems to.

Not in a way you can see, anyway.

I get that this alone time was necessary.

The woman I am now? I never imagined she could exist.

She is confident. She respects herself deeply. She glows.

She is the diamond that was formed beneath all the dirt and pressure.

But now? This diamond wants to shine—on friendships, on passion projects, on love.

Social media told me to try the 3-6-9 method, the whisper method, affirmations, and being delulu.

I’ve gone deeper than I needed to into my wounds, and then kept going.

Worried I missed a spot.

Worried if I stopped tending to them, they’d infect the rest of my life.

I want cute men to slide into my DMs.

I want to be pursued, courted, adored, and desired.

I want romance that’s rich in effort and dripping in intention.

I want job offers to find me when I’m not even looking.

I want to be chosen, seen, and paid well just for being in my magic.

I want friendships built over espressos, heavy lifts, and real laughs.

I want connection that doesn’t feel like work—only alignment.

I am not picking and choosing anymore.

I am not shrinking my dreams to fit someone else’s comfort zone.

I am done with crumbs, scraps, and almosts.

I want it all—and I know I deserve it all.

Because I am a woman who shows up fully, who softens and stands tall,

who makes magic out of the mundane,

and who no longer waits to be chosen…

I choose me.

I choose this life.

And now, it all gets to choose me back.

I’ve learned the laws: attraction, assumption.

I’ve looped subliminals. I’ve EFT tapped.

I’ve listened to frequencies as I slept.

I’ve journaled. Cried. Got up and done it again.

I thought:

The quicker I’m fixed, the quicker I’ll be rewarded—right?

But I’ve learned something:

I’m not a project.

I’m not a broken thing in need of constant repair.

I’m human. I’ve healed, and I’ll keep healing—but I don’t need to hold myself hostage in that cycle.

And now, I’m here.

Glowed up, evolved, and unrecognizable to even my past selves.

If you think you know me—you don’t.

And still, this feeling lingers:

That the love I have in my heart is too big to keep to myself.

I’ve made the Ideal Man list.

I’ve made sure I’m a match to it.

I’ve prayed. I’ve journaled.

I’ve called him in more times than I can coun

I’ve asked the tarot. I’ve begged my astrology chart for clues.

I’ve signed up for the apps. I’ve deleted them again.

I’ve said yes to dates. I’ve imagined bumping into him while grocery shopping for chicken thighs—because if I want a gym bro, I gotta focus on my protein, too!

And now?

I’m softening.

Not completely surrendered (because I’m an eldest daughter and a single mom—our nervous systems don’t do full surrender yet),

but I’ve set down the clipboard.

I’ve let go of micromanaging the Universe.

This summer?

I’m flowing.

If love comes? Beautiful.

If not? Still beautiful.

I’ll be out here making money for my travels.

Discovering new cafés.

Wearing the shorts.

Romanticizing the hell out of my life.

God, show me how good it can get.

What would You have me do?

What would You have me say?

And to whom?

Let’s go.

Yalla.

Coffee cheers,

Nadia